24th of August

Didn’t meet Cheche today, just saw her back from far for about 2 seconds. She stood at the front when assembly. I thought she will be at the back so I went to the back. T~T but actually she was at in front. As a result, I didn’t see her in the whole assembly.

I didn’t see Cheche but I saw Miss Tan. She was over somewhere where I can totally see her and she can totally see me too. And I needed to see her as I wanted to see Cheche. This was the first time I felt that she was so uneasy to look at. I didn’t dare to look at her, I looked here and there but not her side. I was worrying that I will meet her sight and she would laugh at me. Luckily, we didn’t meet each other’s sight.

Still, my butt felt pain of sitting on the floor, although it was covered by a thin layer of carpet. Doraemon said she called me from outside when she saw Dameinv was over the Samsudin Hall. I didn’t hear anything at all, but she said she shouted at me twice. Maybe because it was crowded that time, the afternoon sessions were coming out from the assembly. T~T Next time I must have caring to everything that happens around me.

I wandered the school in order to see Cheche or Dameinv again. I failed to meet both of them. Fang2 was no more lucky. She said I will meet them and even walk together with them. I told her that I won’t desperately. And last, I really didn’t see them. Actually I was still hoping to see them because I need to object what Fang2 said then only I can meet them. I objected her today, so I hoped. And I disappointed too. It seems like I have to observe Fang2 more to ensure that I can see Cheche or Dameinv more.

I uploaded a new profile picture of Facebook lately. The stupid abnormal Ady came and liked me photo and commented on it, saying “I’m pretty, I looked prettier when I was teaching someone, the pretty one will always looks pretty no matter how she takes her photo and etc.” She even liked every comment of my friends that praised me pretty. Oh my god, I don’t know what she wanted to do. I ran away as I don’t want to meet her last time, she saw it, but she still doing these things to me. I don’t know what she was thinking. Damn her.

Holiday is around the corner, and I’m feeling unhappier and unhappier. I can see neither Cheche nor Dameinv during the holiday. And it means the PMR is getting closer. I haven’t study yet. I decided to study many times, but I was attracted by the computer and TV. So I just studied a little bit of KH only. Ugh. Actually I’m going to Genting Highland in this coming holiday, I should feel happy and I did. I’m hoping the days to come, but I’m worrying that we need to spend a lot and I may have nothing to do there besides playing those expensive things. I know we are spending and the saving is getting lesser. I just hope I can grow up into and adult tomorrow and have a good job so that I can face the money problems. It does affect me much. I can’t continue to spend just like I don’t know everything. Even though I can’t help anything, I think I should be taking care of these things already in the age like me.