not a good day

I went for choir rehearsal in Alor Star today. I was very worry about if I had missed anything to bring the days before it. No butterfly in my stomach, because neither CheChe nor Dameinv would be there. I wouldn’t be nervous if there is no one that I care of.

I reached school at about 6.40am. I planned to arrive earlier than this and walk to Dameinv’s place and put the map of my house on her desk. Unfortunately, I reached school late so I failed to do that. I rushed to music room then.

We started to worm up after not long. I didn’t do it as well as the best I did before. I couldn’t sing well lately, just like I couldn’t reach the pitch and I couldn’t be powerful. Anyway, it was still okay. I went to put the map on Dameinv’s desk after warming up, when everybody was about to go bus. I met her on the way so I gave it to her. I saw CheChe too, but I didn’t say hi.

We went to the bus stop beside surau and Dewan Asrama to wait to go up the bus. I saw Dameinv was busy preparing her class’s ice-cream stall. She asked me if I would be there with hope-filled before that, but unfortunately, I would not be there. L

She came and told me that she couldn’t understand the map. I explained to her. I planned to tell her that if I could come back before they go back, we could eat ice-cream together but I didn’t tell her at last. I looked at her back all the way on bus when we were going out of the school.

It took about 1hour 40minutes to reach the stadium. We arrived at 9.35am. We waited in the very hot, sauna-like stadium. They didn’t switch on the air-conditioner. Damn. We ate the food given by them before our turn to rehearsal. It was curry chicken rice. Hello, we had to sing! Ok, I know they would never be that caring.

We waited idly until 12pm something. We dressed rehearsal for almost 2 hours and went back after that, waited for 3hours and dressed rehearsal for only 2 hours. And the 2 hours were not all used to dress rehearsal but waited for them to settle the things.

I slept for a while and chatted with Fish on the bus on the way back. I sat with Fish on the bus. We chatted a lot on the bus. We arrived the school after about 1hour 40minutes too. The school was so empty, almost considered as NOBODY, only a few boys were playing football in the field and few students waiting for their parents in the pondok.

We went to wandered around the school compound. First because I wanted to see whether Dameinv is still there although I knew it was 101% that she wouldn’t be there, second because we wanted to let Fish and her guy had chance to stay together, the school was empty so they no need to worry about others would see it.

I saw CheChe was still in Bilik Mesyuarat when we were sending Suz to Kamar Syura for her pitiful debate discussion. I asked Fish and her guy to wander around on their own and I went to find CheChe. Hoho. I chatted with her in the room. She said her finger was so pain because of playing Bola Jaring, it was her first time to play it. It seemed like not every Malay girl likes Bola Jaring. J

An unlucky thing was, she had already finished her works when I was there. I couldn’t be with her long. She said she had to pick up her daughter after that and asked if I want to tumpang her car. I rejected her. Why! Why did I reject her!!!!!!!!! I missed an once-in-a-lifetime chance again!!! I would never have such a chance to sit her car anymore!!! Uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa L Both of the most regretful things that I had done were all because of CheChe! First time was I met her in Tesco but I didn’t hi with her, second time was this! Ughhhhhh!!! T^T

I slept after coming back from school and went online after bathing and enjoying dinner after woke up. I uploaded my self-taken photo on the way back from the car just now. And do you know what happened after that? CheChe liked my photo!!!! Oh my goodness, just so flattered! This was the first time she liked my photo! (the photos which I took with Dameinv were exception) I tagged her and said something like “why do you want to like my photo, shyshy”(XD) but unfortunately, she didn’t reply.

Another shocking thing happened again after that. I saw the notification of Dameinv liking my photo! Oh gosh….It was the first time she liked my photo too. So shy…XD Her comment was more flattering. “miss you my tedy”, was her comment. Wahahahahahaahaha~~ She said so in public….so shy….and, so happy! XDXDXDXD hohohohoho~~~ The only bad thing was, she didn’t on after I asked her. huhu L

Tomorrow will be the formal performance, hope that I can sing well! Oh god, let me to sing well please, I want to sing better! All the best to you, Lim Wan Pei! Good luck and do your best! Same to all the choir members especially my Fish, Suz, Ween, Ning and YWen! Semangat!!!! XD

Oh ya, he said it was only a joke. Damn, how could he wish me to die even though it was only joking!!! I told him I was really affected by it much and asked him to settle it on his own. I don't want to talk to him and be eyes to eyes with him before he settles it! Hump! (wish that I can really do that)

Weird feelings

We did our choir team rehearsal at Dewan Bandaran just now together with all of the performing performers. Everything went well. We need to make rainstorm sound by using only our hands. We did it perfectly just now, the storm sound was so nice. However, because I’m the front row and there are no benches or wood pieces for the front row so the front row students were unable to make the storm sound. The sound was so nice but it was not from me. T~T

Many teachers came to watch us rehearsal, including fishmonger too. But then, why didn’t Dameinv come too. T~T. She will not be coming for the concert I think, it’s bad, because I can’t see her, it’s good too because I won’t be nervous then. Heee. As long as there is nobody that I care, I won’t be nervous. Like last time, the Jenayah Function, I was not nervous at all. Hoho.

I slept once I reached home, I was very tired. I even didn’t eat and bathe first. I dreamed something weird.

The first scene was in my mum’s room, where I was sleeping in. Teacher Edna, Suz and me was there, standing face to face. We were discussing about something and last, Teacher Edna ended up the conversation with a sentence which in Mandarin and turned and opened the door to go out. I’ve forgotten what she said, but I remember, the sentence was in Mandarin. I then replied her in Mandarin too. I was very excited that she spoke Mandarin, don’t know why. I asked her where she was going to go, she said she wanted to go to my grandmother’s house. I was shocked and then asked her whether she knows my grandmother. We then chatted for a while in Mandarin.

The second was over the canteen. Dameinv was there. The canteen was crowded. All of my friends got their food first so they went to sit before I get my food. I saw Dameinv sat at a round table opposite to the stall outside the canteen alone. I then took my food towards her and asked her whether she’s sitting alone. She said yes, she is. I then said I want to sit with her and straight away sat down. I’m not purposely wanted to see her then only I sat with her, but I don’t want her to feel lonely. Many cats appeared around my bench then. I was very scared and jumped onto my bench and then the other bench to avoid the cat from getting nearer to me. I jumped here and there and screamed. Dameinv was laughing and looking at me when I was jumping. I then told her I’m scare of cats.

The third scene was a hall. It looked like the Kamar Syura in our school, just that the ceiling is much higher and the whole hall was much longer. It was crowded with people in school uniform too and everywhere looked dark, the lamp opened only at the place where there were people there. Dameinv was sitting at the front part of the table, near where I stood in HAC last time, writing something diligently. The students were surrounding her, and so did I. I deliberately stood there for a very long time in order to see her longer although I had nothing to do. I realised my mum was outside the hall, searching for me in a sudden. I felt so guilty for letting her to wait me for so long just because I wanted to see Dameinv. I immediately ran towards her and walked away with her. Suddenly, I was back to the hall again but there were many mouse-like-squirrels and 3 animals that looked like the monster in the cartoon Pokemon chasing after me! I ran quickly into the hall. The crowd inside saw me and ran here and there too. The scene was chaotic. I saw Dameinv and I asked her to run too.

It changed into the fourth scene suddenly. I was on Teacher Edna’s car, sitting at the side of Teacher Edna while she was driving. Marcus and two more persons I think were on the car too. We were rejoicing for escaping successfully from those monsters. At the same time, we were grieving for those who failed to escape. Again, we were chatting in Mandarin. The end.

The dream ended up abruptly and it was raining cat and dog when I woke up. The first sound I heard from the rain was exactly same with the sound we made in choir, crescendo, decrescendo and the sound of clapping our lap. I felt so weird. Weird for the dream, why was I kept on dreaming Teacher Edna speaking Mandarin, weird for the rain sounds, it was so coincident, and weird for I waking up so late, I woke up at 7pm something and I haven’t eat my lunch, bathe and sweep the floor yet. Hehe.