Mood

First.

My back is getting more and more pain now. I don’t know what should I do. It has started to feel pain since about one month ago. I just ignored it, thinking that it will recover on its own one day. But after about one month, the feel of pain increase instead of decreasing. I can’t bear it anymore and went to meet a doctor.

The doctor gave me some pills, expecting the pain will disappear after finishing the pills. It was okay when I was taking the pills. However, it doesn’t happen like what it should be happening. The feel of pain has worsen after I finished the pills. I feel pain when I was walking, sitting, squatting or whatever action I do. I felt tired of bearing the pain so I went to meet the doctor again just now.

The doctor doesn’t know what to do on me too but she gave me some pills to reduce the pain. She suggested me to have a X-ray scanning and a more professional scanning after that. But, do you know how much it costs for a professional scanning? The doctor said it costs about thousand. Gosh, even my mum didn’t go for a scan, she needs it actually, how can I go for it? And, the main thing is the fee. Mum said we have not much left in the bank now, I don’t want her to spend such thing on me. Even if we have the fee for that, my mum should go for it first.

The doctor said if it is the bone’s problem, it can recover on its own in three to four months. If it recovers on its own means I will be getting less and less pain but I’m facing the opposite now so it means my problem is not the bone problem. What is the problem then? Ugh. I don’t know what should I do now. Perhaps it can be okay after taking the pills, I don’t want to spend more on it and I can’t spend more on it. God, please, help me. Just help me to make it recover, please.

Second.

My E string breaks again yesterday. It’s the eighth time I think. It breaks eight times within one and a half year. I don’t know why is it happening. The others won’t face such problem, except me. Maybe it’s an omen? Implying that I shouldn’t continue to learn violin. I can’t play it well even though I’ve already learnt it for a long time. Maybe I don’t have that talent? Maybe I shouldn’t keep becoming a stubborn and continue to learn violin? The string breaks again and again to imply me to stop playing it? But I have to admit, I do love violin and music.

I cried.

Third.

It was raining heavily yesterday, with very loud thunders. My modem was hit by the loudest thunder and it died. T^T I couldn’t online yesterday and I couldn’t chat with Dameinv on Facebook!

Anyway, we sms. J I told her that I couldn’t log on my Facebook due to the death of my modem. I told her that I cried because of my E string breaks too. So she consoled me with a very touching way: “I noe you tough enough to hndle that probs..kn sy ad utk awk”. Oh my god, she said she’s there for me! So touching. So I cried again. Well, it’s now fair. I made her cried once and she made me cried once too. J hmm, it seems like we are really good friends now. a very satisfying conclusion. J

Fourth.

He said he doesn’t know me well and felt that we were just like strangers. He said he wanted to chase me again. So we are strangers now. He didn’t explain well at first, I thought what was going to happen. Luckily, it was his plan actually. Well, I’m glad that he thought this way, I’m very willing to wait for his chasing. J Hmm, does it mean that I can reject him and find a new one? Ha-ha.