anything

well, suddenly down again. i think is because of few things. first, it's because of i read some posts in my friend's blog, their essays are so good, they can write well, without any mistake, how about me? every of my sentence is fulled with MISTAKES. when will i be able to write as well as them? i think this day will never come. what a pitiful life, i'm well in nothing. can't write well, can't get a good result, can't run, can't play violin well, can't help anybody, can't have good relationship among anybody, can't stop myself to like them this much, can't sing well, can't grow taller, can't finish my homeworks well, can't be a good person. i can't do anything well. I FAIL TO DO ANYTHING WELL.

really down now, my tears are formed, in my eyes. i don't what happened to me, become so down in a sudden.

many things want to tell out, i don't know which one should i tell first, so the things will be untidy, i will write whatever i remember, without arrange it.

i found that my tears can be easily formed when i fail to get my target. i won't set target easily before this, but i did recently. i aimed to get 100% in math, i failed. i aimed to run in time during merentas desa, i failed. my tears presented when i found i failed to reach the target in both time. i cry easily recently, i don't know what happened to me, i did changed a lot, i think. i thought i'm tough enough, at least not to cry easily, but i'm not. i cried just because of these small things, it seems like i'm not understand myself well.

i wanted to get 8As in exam, i want, but i don't know what should i do for this. i know i should study, but i don't how to study. KH, just memorize, and i will leave it after PMR, there will be no more KH in the future, i just need to study hard for exams in this year and PMR only, just few times more, i can, i think. English, i'm try to read more now. i started again to read Twilight, but i'm fail to get attracted by it as much as what a mandarin novel did. however, i can still read it by a full attention and i'm attracted by it some times, some times. i don't know whether it's the right way to write well, but this is the only way i know and i want to do. here come the worst part, Malay language. i'm bad in writing essays, i don't like it, because i can't write well. what should i do to improve it? read more? i'm totally not interested in Malays books. some more i'm reading English novel now. i'm helpless in studying, can anyone help me?

dameinv didn't on again today, sigh. by the way, ice beauty on! hum, so what? i impossible go talk to her right, well, just look at the tab that showing she's on is enough. she accepted me is already a very big present for me.

i'm lazy to take care at my games that i play in fb anymore, i started to feel weary to them. but i don't like to leave something without taking care at it and it become a wreckage then.

i earned in my first proper salary on my own by tuition for my cousin. it feels so nice. although he's only standard two and i just need to tuition standard one's level for him because he's really too bad, it's kind a easy work for me, but i'm worry about he cannot learn well and i cannot teach well. i never teach children properly before this, and now, i need to be responsible on his works, i don't what should i do, i don't know what i'm doing now is right and good for him or not.

hum, i forgot what else i wanted to tell. so, stop here, i will continue if i remember anything.