just recording and updating

I said to myself that I want to practice violin everyday but I failed again. I maintained it for just 2 days. It’s all because I tore my cocoon on my fingers like a fool and I hurt myself. I couldn’t play violin for few days and I had no time few days after it then until today. And I was lazy today. Damn. I just can’t get rid of my laziness.

They said it would be meteor shower on the midnight of 14th until 15th. I looked at the clock in my computer at the midnight of 13th so it showed as 14th. I thought I’d missed it and I was very disappointed. I realized that only on the next day, my Sina’s friend told me. I went out from my house and checked the sky out yesterday. It was a starry night and the moon was very bright. The sky was so beautiful. I think I saw Orion too because the three stars of his belt were so bright that I could recognized it. I found the vastness of the universe and human insignificance. So I watched the sky for quite some time although I didn’t see any meteor.

When I was looking at somewhere of the sky, I saw a meteor flashed through the sky in front of me!!! I was so excited and touched!! It was the first time I saw a meteor and it was with only my naked eyes!!! It was so unbelievable that I really saw it!!!!! It flashed, it was just a brief moment that I couldn’t remember to make a wish and I wouldn’t be making a wish before it’s gone, I know. I went out a few more times after that and I saw a meteor almost every 5 to 10 minutes I waited outside. I saw a meteor again when I finally remembered to make wish. But I wasn’t paying attention because I’ve been waiting long. I don’t know whether that wish is counted. I just hope that I could make more wish, I need wishes to give me hopes now. I saw a total of 7 meteors.

We will be taking our PMR result on this 22nd. I just don’t dare to expect anything from my result. I’m coward. I would be more disappointed when I expect more. I don’t want that. So I never think of, even estimate, my result now. Everything could happen, there are possibilities everywhere. I will cry if I expect I would get 8As and I don’t get it. Well, I think I will cry too even if I didn’t expect. And I think I will still cry if I get 8As. But it’s the tears of happiness. I hope Dameinv will be there when I’m getting my result so that I can hug her when I get that I got 8As. And she would console me too if I don’t get it. Ha-ha. Anyway, may god bless me.

I don’t know what should I ask from my parents if I get 8As. I used to tell my parents earlier so that they can PROMISE me. Phone? Mine is still so new although it has no wi-fi and not a new model. Computer? I already have a netbook although it’s a cheap one. Violin? I don’t think they afford to buy me a handmade one. Cash? They won’t give me much, don’t waste this good chance. Violin class? Well, they are in economic constraints. Braces? They are in economic constraints. Trips? They are in economic constraints. So actually no matter it’s phone, computer or violin, they are in economic constraints. I don’t want them to be bothered by me especially on the money problem that can’t be simply solved. Maybe I can tell them that I don’t want anything right now but they owe me a thing. I would only be asking for something when they are okay in their economic.

I finally get a big dream for myself. It can be target, aim or something like that, but I know it would only be dream. My perfect and can never be reached dream is, I want to travel to Hong Kong or China, wherever Charmaine is over there and filming, alone! I want to follow Charmaine to wherever she films and stay with her, chat with her, breakfast with her, lunch with her, dinner with her and etc everyday, just like what the other super friend-like fans of Charmaine did and become one of them! Be friends with them and Charmaine too! I must go alone because I won’t be able to do all that if my family is there too. They are impossible to do all that together with me. And I would be fully owning freedom if I do so.

Oh my god, just imagine that, that’s perfect! I could be visiting the places with my friends too when Charmaine’s not free and etc. I don’t need to stay there long cause’ I know I won’t be able to stay long. Few days are already enough for me. At least I experienced that. Maybe I can ask for it when I pass my SPM with flying colours but the main point is, when they afford to do so. I won’t force them for this. I know it’s hard. When they are afford, they just need to provide me 2 flight tickets, clothes(if it’s winter), money for lodging and food. And maybe some pocket money. If the price of everything has already raise, maybe RM1500 for flight tickets, RM1000 for winter clothes, RM1500 for lodging, RM500 for food, RM500 for pocket money, RM5000 in a total. (I counted everything for the most expensive.) My SPM result deserves it I think. Haha.