New Template!

Finally edit my blog template. I was so lazy to even edit the font of the post before this. It's in an almost-the-same template with Fish's blog now. Hoho. We can be a set of three CUTE bloggers if Suz edits hers too! Huahahahaha XD

7th day of holidays

I was awaken by my sis when she woke up for her SPM this morning at 7.30am. I could sleep back but I woke up because I thought maybe I could meet Dameinv on Facebook. We didn’t chat for a few days already.

I met CheChe instead of Dameinv. I dared myself to talk to her with a good excuse for myself. I could say "I woke up early and I was excited now, that’s why I talked to you." I don’t dare to talk to her because she used to ask why and I don’t know how to answer her. We chatted then.

I saw a shocking news from her profile afterward. It was her status, telling that Dameinv’s sister is having lymphoma cancer now and praying that she could recover soon. It was Dameinv's eldest sister, the one who went to study in New Zealand and just came back not long ago. I was very shocked and I had frozen in front of the computer for quite a long time.

I posted a wall post on her wall this morning, before knowing this, asking when will be our outgoing day and I miss her. I deleted it then because she just said sorry for busying on her sister’s things and has no time to invite me to go out. Good, I don’t have to dream about it anymore lately. Maybe she saw the post but if she doesn't means we thought of the same thing at the same time. :)

I messaged her later to console and ask for details. I got something, she said her sister had hidden it for a long time, it’s now second or third phase already. Her sister will be going to Penang tomorrow for the chemotherapy. She said she was very sad, this sister was the one she loved the most and of course she loved me too(she said on her own). I told her I messaged her to console her actually but I don’t know how to console. She said she was worse, her sister keeps crying. She was her sister but she doesn’t know how to console her.

I’m very upset now. She is very sad because of this and I would be very sad too if it is me. And I can’t do anything to help her, not even consoling. To those who read this, please keep it as a secret. I wrote it here not to let you know and spread it. I just need a place to tell out.


Notes.
1. I had finished my great plan, not sleeping before going to school, not long before this.

2. I’m reading Twilight, it’s interesting started from the Confession chapter. XD And, how I wish I have never watched the Twilight movie before. The Edward in the novel was so perfect that the Edward in the movie could never be. I could be imagining how perfect the Edward was but not remembering the imperfect Edward in the movie when I’m reading. The Edward in the movie was not perfect at all, not even having a handsome face. Moreover, HE IS NOT MUSCULAR AT ALL.

3. He didn't contact me for quite a long time already.

4. I’m learning to use Photoshop to edit photo, I mean my Charmaine one, but my netbook can’t display the Chinese words in software. Thus, it’s a hard work for me to investigate it. Here are some examples. I'm quite satisfied with them.

first day of holidays

Maybe I can say my boring holiday had a good beginning. We went to Xiu2’s house to play and have a “morning BBQ” there and celebrated birthday for Jo and Fish’s passed one. Wish my beloved Jo happy birthday again here~ muack! All 3A8s were there except Suz because she has to go for debate. Pity her.

We decorated Xiu2’s house before Jo arrived. We told Jo and Fish to come at 9am but we all came at 8am so that we would have time to decorate but Fish came earlier so she had to decorate too. XD BBQ then, hmm, not so fun because we don’t have the stick for BBQ, it was very hot so I didn’t barbeque much. I barbequed some marshmallows, it was so tasty! Hohoho, I like it! Fang2’s mum made some spaghetti and jelly for us too. Her mum was really kind, my mum would never do that. L

We played water after eating. It was so nice, I love that part! We played crazily, and we were all wet! Huahahahaha :D Tidy up time after playing then. It was suffering, all tidy up time is suffering, I hate it, everyone hates it. Anyway, WHui and me washed all the things at the back. We played poker card for a while after that. I said I don’t want to play poker card anymore because I would lose everytime I play. Anyway, I still played for a few games. I can control myself well now, stop playing once started to lose. XD As a result, I won RM2. XD It’s much for me compare to the negative before this.

Thank you very much to Jia and Fang2, they both lighted the fire and barbequed many things for us. I went back at 1.30 something and slept after coming back. After that, woke up, and then online. Boring routine again.

Oh ya
1. I’m going to go out with Dameinv next week, huahahahah~~ :D

2. Finally bought my Charmaine’s movie, haven’t watch it yet, but I knew it is really nice, that’s why I bought it! Just so love my Charmaine!! Charmaine, I LOVE you!! LOVE!! And, so regret and sad that I don’t know how to PS. L

last school day

Every form had to come to school like morning session today for “Hari Tutup Sekolah”. We cleaned up the school compound all the time before recess, anyway, I didn’t clean anything but played with friends. :D

I messaged with Dameinv in the school, haha. I went to find her in staff room after recess and stayed there until school finished and did nothing except helping Dameinv to do some works and teaching Fang2 Mathematics. Fang2, Jo and Fish were there too. We were all too boring but don’t want to go to the Multimedia Room, we would be doing nothing there too but we still prefer to stay with Dameinv. Hmm, maybe I should say ME but not WE. XD

Dameinv gave me the gift that she wanted to give me before this. It was 3 Ferrero Rocher Chocolate, a maybe-made-in-New Zealand Chocolate and a New Zealand animal key chain. I don’t know what animal was that, but it looked cheap, really. No offence, but it really looked cheap. It looked coarse, not meticulous at all. Her sister who went to study in New Zealand had come back lately, that was why these things were here. She said she had many key chains in her house and that one she brought was mine. Hoho.

I stayed at her place until 1.30pm, stayed about 3 hours there. hoho. Anyway, I did nothing there. She was busy, I didn’t talk much with her. CheChe was absent today. I continued my boring routine after coming back from school, started my boring holiday. L

choir performance and the day after it

I woke up at 5am yesterday. I thought I will be using more time than the day before it for preparation. However, I was wrong. I had many times left before I went out.

The way to school was all dark, almost no cars on the road. It felt so nice. Hoho. The school was dark too when I arrived, it was about 6am. I waited for them alone in my class, didn’t feel any fear, I had used to it. I waited like this every morning.

Bus departed at about 6.20am. I couldn’t sleep with songs because I would be listening to the songs very carefully. But I couldn’t sleep on the bus no matter with songs or not. Anyway, I managed to sleep for teen minutes with songs playing. It couldn’t consider as sleep I think, it was only “sometimes conscious and sometimes unconscious”. Chatted with Fish, Suz, Win, Ning and YWen as well.

I don’t know when did we arrived there because I forgot to wear my watch and I had put my phone in my bag and I was lazy to take it out. Most of us wanted to go to toilet but our conductor doesn’t allow us to do so. She said we were not having much time plus we haven’t warm up yet.

So, we warmed up at the stage without going to toilet and with hungry stomach. I never thought that we would have time to eat but at least we could have some time to go toilet right, but we don’t have. We warmed up for a while more at downstage and went up to the stage immediately after that. I was shocked.

We stood there for almost 1 hour before singing, waiting for the VIPs. Damn. My legs were numb. I almost forgot how to walk when I had my first step after singing. I had a little bit sore throat before started to sing after waiting for so long without talking. I was not nervous at all, from the beginning.

We went to KFC after that. The workers were shock when they saw a group of blue girls went into their shop. Haha. I ordered a cup of coffee. It was just so tasteless and bitter. I added 6 packs of sugar and creamer. There was a table of Form 5 students beside us. We acted like we were just finish taking the exam too and we were Form 5s too. We chatted about the previous and coming papers, awards if we get straight As, what car could we get after exam and etc. I just feel that I could be a good actress too. Grin. :D

We arrived school at 12 something. We did nothing before school finished. I was so boring, super duper boring. I knew Dameinv wouldn’t be in school, I just felt like I had no point to go school anymore, I could start my holiday now. Anyway, I better still going because I had not many days to go now. It left only 2days. I must appreciate my left Form 3 life.

As a result, I was absent today as many of my classmates were not going and Dameinv was the main reason actually. Unfortunately, Dameinv told me that she was in school today! Damn! Why was she in school! Isn’t she said that she has to invigilate SPM so she will not be in school! Ugh! Absent for school is really a bad thing!

Fortunately, she said she will be in school in Thursday. Hoho. I must appreciate this coming Thursday then. J Oh ya, we will be taking our RM100 tomorrow, huahahaha. But Dameinv will not be not there. L

not a good day

I went for choir rehearsal in Alor Star today. I was very worry about if I had missed anything to bring the days before it. No butterfly in my stomach, because neither CheChe nor Dameinv would be there. I wouldn’t be nervous if there is no one that I care of.

I reached school at about 6.40am. I planned to arrive earlier than this and walk to Dameinv’s place and put the map of my house on her desk. Unfortunately, I reached school late so I failed to do that. I rushed to music room then.

We started to worm up after not long. I didn’t do it as well as the best I did before. I couldn’t sing well lately, just like I couldn’t reach the pitch and I couldn’t be powerful. Anyway, it was still okay. I went to put the map on Dameinv’s desk after warming up, when everybody was about to go bus. I met her on the way so I gave it to her. I saw CheChe too, but I didn’t say hi.

We went to the bus stop beside surau and Dewan Asrama to wait to go up the bus. I saw Dameinv was busy preparing her class’s ice-cream stall. She asked me if I would be there with hope-filled before that, but unfortunately, I would not be there. L

She came and told me that she couldn’t understand the map. I explained to her. I planned to tell her that if I could come back before they go back, we could eat ice-cream together but I didn’t tell her at last. I looked at her back all the way on bus when we were going out of the school.

It took about 1hour 40minutes to reach the stadium. We arrived at 9.35am. We waited in the very hot, sauna-like stadium. They didn’t switch on the air-conditioner. Damn. We ate the food given by them before our turn to rehearsal. It was curry chicken rice. Hello, we had to sing! Ok, I know they would never be that caring.

We waited idly until 12pm something. We dressed rehearsal for almost 2 hours and went back after that, waited for 3hours and dressed rehearsal for only 2 hours. And the 2 hours were not all used to dress rehearsal but waited for them to settle the things.

I slept for a while and chatted with Fish on the bus on the way back. I sat with Fish on the bus. We chatted a lot on the bus. We arrived the school after about 1hour 40minutes too. The school was so empty, almost considered as NOBODY, only a few boys were playing football in the field and few students waiting for their parents in the pondok.

We went to wandered around the school compound. First because I wanted to see whether Dameinv is still there although I knew it was 101% that she wouldn’t be there, second because we wanted to let Fish and her guy had chance to stay together, the school was empty so they no need to worry about others would see it.

I saw CheChe was still in Bilik Mesyuarat when we were sending Suz to Kamar Syura for her pitiful debate discussion. I asked Fish and her guy to wander around on their own and I went to find CheChe. Hoho. I chatted with her in the room. She said her finger was so pain because of playing Bola Jaring, it was her first time to play it. It seemed like not every Malay girl likes Bola Jaring. J

An unlucky thing was, she had already finished her works when I was there. I couldn’t be with her long. She said she had to pick up her daughter after that and asked if I want to tumpang her car. I rejected her. Why! Why did I reject her!!!!!!!!! I missed an once-in-a-lifetime chance again!!! I would never have such a chance to sit her car anymore!!! Uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa L Both of the most regretful things that I had done were all because of CheChe! First time was I met her in Tesco but I didn’t hi with her, second time was this! Ughhhhhh!!! T^T

I slept after coming back from school and went online after bathing and enjoying dinner after woke up. I uploaded my self-taken photo on the way back from the car just now. And do you know what happened after that? CheChe liked my photo!!!! Oh my goodness, just so flattered! This was the first time she liked my photo! (the photos which I took with Dameinv were exception) I tagged her and said something like “why do you want to like my photo, shyshy”(XD) but unfortunately, she didn’t reply.

Another shocking thing happened again after that. I saw the notification of Dameinv liking my photo! Oh gosh….It was the first time she liked my photo too. So shy…XD Her comment was more flattering. “miss you my tedy”, was her comment. Wahahahahahaahaha~~ She said so in public….so shy….and, so happy! XDXDXDXD hohohohoho~~~ The only bad thing was, she didn’t on after I asked her. huhu L

Tomorrow will be the formal performance, hope that I can sing well! Oh god, let me to sing well please, I want to sing better! All the best to you, Lim Wan Pei! Good luck and do your best! Same to all the choir members especially my Fish, Suz, Ween, Ning and YWen! Semangat!!!! XD

Oh ya, he said it was only a joke. Damn, how could he wish me to die even though it was only joking!!! I told him I was really affected by it much and asked him to settle it on his own. I don't want to talk to him and be eyes to eyes with him before he settles it! Hump! (wish that I can really do that)

Hari Raya Haji

Maybe I should ask him, no way, I don’t dare. Just wait until the school reopens and see his behavior okay. But, what should I feel toward this before I get to know his thinking? Alright, just ignore it first. Still, my heart will be held tight suddenly when I saw his Facebook icon. Still, I will feel hurt when I think back of the conversation. I hate.

Watching my Charmaine’s drama, Forensic Heroes II, again. I just so love my Charmaine, and her lover in the drama, Ivan(Kevin Cheng). I love to see them being together. Just so love. I think I’m already crazy in this. I’m going to watch it again with laptop later. Then print screen the scene I want and save it and see it whenever I want. Wahaha.

Dameinv was so gatai today. She said “miss u babe” to me. Haha. I gave her back a kiss emotion too. haha. Just take it as the reparation of her kiss emotion that day. XD

Went to Tesco and had a KFC lunch with my family this afternoon. I walked together with my brother and we were holding hands and walking very near to each other, just like what a couple would do. Damn, all the others must have thought that we were couple! Anyway, I have already used to it. Everyone was looking at us, because of my brother’s look. I used to ignore all their eyes. And, I’m his girlfriend on the other hand. Damn.

Oh ya, I dared myself to ask CheChe about the reason she was absent for school few days ago. She went for a bengkel at Langkawi. And my reason for asking her about this was, “nothing, just curious.” XD

Oh ya II, belated Hari Raya Haji to my friends. Shit, i forgot to wish Dameinv and CheChe and all them. I have totally forgotten about this thing.

All Just In A Sudden

You hoped me to die.

You said you wish me to die, as soon as possible.

You said we will be strangers until the day I die, started from now.

Okay, we are stanger, until the day I die, I will remember it, until the day I die too.

Goodbye, stranger.

First time, my eyes were full by tears because of you, and it is the last time too.

Please, promise me.

Last time.

Still, I hope you were kidding, again.

You were kidding right?

Were you?

I thought you don’t mean much to me, you don’t affect me much.

You don’t, right?

You just made my tears formed, just some tears.

Just in this condition.

You don’t affect me much.

Do you?

Maybe you did, just that I never realise.

Maybe you did, after this.

Can I know are you serious?

Can I know what’s happening now?

Should I ask you, “You are kidding right.”?

You will come back and tell me you were just kidding.

You will. Will you?

2nd November 2011

Today was much better, there was a normal number of students attended today. CheChe was absent again, don’t know why and I didn’t ask Dameinv or her when she was online.

We registered to go for a forum about health today. It was at Dewan Putra. No other reason, just because we were too boring to stay at school. It was not bad to go outside. We went there at 8.30am. Suz, Fish and me went to help Miss Gooi to clean her room before that. We often went to find her lately and offered her our help because we were really too boring. As a result, I was now much closer with her.

I get a bag of things from there. There were a few poster, a pack of Mihun, an apple, a bun, a bottle of mineral water, a notebook and a pen. Not bad, went to play and got free things. I did nothing there, didn’t listen what they said at all. I was sleeping, day-dreaming and chatting all the way.

We went to eat after back from there, it was neither recess time nor back time, but the teachers just allowed us to go out. After that, I pranked Ping. I was not going to prank her actually. I wore her watch when she took it off at canteen, just for fun actually. She thought she lost it then so I planned to continue it. She looked at my hand for a few times, but she never realized it. I thought she has already realized it, I never thought that she was just that BLIND.

We went back to Astaka then. She searched for it at her bag. I went to show her again. I purposely raised my hand in front of her and doing nothing, assuming that she would realise it. Again, she didn’t see it. She went back to her class to search for it after that. I called her and said that Dameinv asked us to go to the another way, raising my hand with the watch and turning it. It was obvious that I was doing things in a weird way and talking nonsense, she didn’t realise.

She back from her class then, with a disappointed face. Of course, her watch was with me what. She searched at her bag again. I went near her and squat down and showed out my hand and asked if she got it. She turned and looked at my hand’s side. I thought she has finally seen it, but she stared it for some seconds and raised her head and told me, nope. Oh my goodness, could she use her eyes since she was opening it!?

And she finally saw it, when I showed her my hand again. We all then laughed at her. She seemed like a bit angry, sad and maybe shocked. I don’t know, but I know she was unhappy because of this. Hey Ping, I know mia, I just don’t want to stop suddenly because the ambience would be very weird if I stop laughing suddenly and stare at you. Hmm, here are some cool satirize words that I told her, “which button to click to make your watch invisible?”, “what’s the use of you opening your eyes?”, “can you see me?”. It was just so funny but I know you were angry, Ping, sorry. You will forgive me right? Heeee.

I then went to be with Dameinv. She wanted to give me chocolate to thank me for helping her and said that we could eat it together. Eat ice-cream as well. But she didn’t bring chocolate or ice-cream as I told her that I have things to do and she thought we would not be meeting. It was okay because I don’t expect we would be having time for that too. We promised that we are going to meet at 12pm to eat chocolate and ice-cream tomorrow.

It was choir practice then. I was in good mood, no reason, and I did well. I would be very very good mood if I can really eat chocolate and ice-cream with Dameinv tomorrow as I knew that we are having choir practice from 11am to 1pm tomorrow afterwards.

I met Dameinv after choir practice and I told her. She was disappointed too, I expected that. We chatted a while before she went to her class. She would always smile or laugh sheepishly in front of me. I was appeased by our interactions today but actually it was only the normal interactions. I don’t feel want to message her or Facebook with her. I don’t want her to be annoyed by me, although I know she won’t feel so actually but I would still worry about that.

Unexpectedly, she was online today and hi with me. We chatted for a while only because her line wasn’t well and she couldn’t access Facebook. She messaged me then. We chatted for a while again, she wanted to bring chocolate tomorrow. Hope that we will be able to eat it together tomorrow. She called me meimei and called herself cheche. Well, I can be her meimei, it’s okay. J She said goodbye to me and said that she was already sleepy. That’s her must-do. XD But today was abit different, she added a kissing emotion after her words. Haha. I realized it afterward, if not, I’m going to give her back too. J

01.11.2011

Today was Fish’s birthday, so happy birthday to my beloved Fish~ love you forever and friendship forever! ❤ There were only six chinese students presented today, me, Fish, Suz, Ping, Fang2 and WHui. All the others were absent, ALL. I don’t know why, maybe they colluded with each other and planned to absent together. Why I don’t know all of this? But it’s okay, I won’t really absent even though I knew. J

Today was almost the same with yesterday. The five periods before recess were all free, we can do whatever we want including sports. We ran around the field like yesterday and the result was the same too, we just ran about ¾ of the field. I could finish it if my stupid stomach didn’t feel pain I think. Done nothing after that and I slept for almost an hour in class. I couldn’t sleep long if I lean my body over the desk, my elbow would be very pain. So, I arranged the chairs in a row like what I did last time and slept for teen minutes. I felt very tired recently.

The time was wasted by wandering, chatting, playing computer, reading novels and sleeping. Soooooooooooooo boring. Damn. Miss Gooi’s place has been settled by the boys, by using the idea given by Fish. We then went to the Bilik Akses to play the computers there. I thought the room is already neglected and nobody will be going there. I was very surprised when I pushed open the door and saw two boys there. No internet access in the room, so what are the use of the computers presented there?! Even with internet, no Facebook, MySpace, and etc things are allowed. So what is the use of the internet available there?!

CheChe was absent today. A bit affected when waiting for her to come at assembly time but then back to normal after that. Dameinv came late today, she said she has things to do, she should be coming earlier, so that I can stay with her longer. XD I went to her place and helped her to jot down and sum up the score and stayed for almost an hour there. I finished the things she asked me to do in just a short time, she was surprised. It’s nothing actually, just because it was related to Math and her. She make-up today and she was shy when I asked her this.

She wanted to eat lunch with me after finishing the jobs. But unfortunately, it was already the time for me to back. She looked sad, me too but I didn’t show her.