the last day of 2011

Today is the last day of 2011. Thus, I write a post to commemorate it. The most regrettable things in 2011 are my failure to see Charmaine and Charmaine still being single. But I believe that the happiest things in 2012 would be these two things being fulfilled.

Thanks to all of you that love me and make me happy, my life would be colourless without you all! Thanks of all of you that hurt me and I hate, I’ve grown much with your existence. Thanks to my family and my friends, thanks for giving me the precious memories, I will always love you! Thanks to my Charmaine, for being a person that I can give my whole love to her.

I wish I can be more hardworking and better in 2012. I wish I can see Charmaine. I wish Charmaine can find her real love. I wish my family, my friends, my Charmaine and I will always healthy, happy and having luck beside. I wish my family’s economic problem will be much better. I wish I can continue my violin lessons and my skill can improve. I wish everything will be much better.

I wish all my wishes above will come true!!

Last, wish Dameinv Happy Being Wife~~

Christmas

HoHoHo, Merry Christmas~ I know it’s late, anyway, I still have to write it. I wrote all my post late because I was lazy, very lazy to open a Word and type a post. Ha-ha.

Today was my parents’ 22^nd Anniversary thus we celebrated it a little bit. Today was dad’s day off of course, we went to market in the morning and I got a set of casual clothes. I don’t get any new year clothes, no ones I liked. I don’t plan to buy many clothes due to my parents’ economic constraint and I would be leaving them in my wardrobe after wearing it once in the New Year. I want to buy dress. And I bought a ballerina few days ago, I love it. I got it once I walked near the shoe-ocean.

We went Penang at the night for dinner and bro wanted to buy an iPad. Is an iPad better than a Canon? I felt that iPad is not so useful for me. But well, it’s useful for him. It took us 3 times longer to reach Penang because it was traffic jam everywhere. Oh damn, it sucked.

We went to a western food restaurant called James Foo. I had a Chicken-Fish combo chop there. The foods were tasty and it’s not so expensive and it doesn’t tax! Everyone looked at us when we stepped in the restaurant, because of bro, because of sis, because of me. It felt so nice, hoho. I was very full as I ate some of my dad’s, mum’s, sis’s and bro’s. Haha.

We went Gurney to buy iPad then. Dad and mum stayed on the car because they couldn’t find a car park and we were lack of time, the shops were going to close. We rushed to the iPad shop and I met Miss Lai. She was there with her family, her sis was so alike with her! Sure she felt we changed a lot when she saw bro’s look, sis’s make-up and high heels look and my dress and high heels look. And still the same, we caught almost everybody’s eyes. Huahaha.

We came out with 2 iPads after teen minutes, one is for my bro’s friend, he asked my bro to help him to buy one. The feeling was so cool. Went into a shop and told the worker that we wanted 2 iPads, paid with credit cards and owned 2 iPads. Wow. But it’s not mine, hmmm.

As I went out, I failed to participant the event held by the Charmaine’s Fans Club Forum. The rewards for this event were so nice!!! But I missed it!! T^T

Oh ya, i got these from my PMR result. I'm not from a rich family, so I already feel thankful for these.

22nd December, result day.

I was taking my result today. I couldn’t sleep yesterday. I slept at 4am and woke up by 6am. I was very nervous. Actually I woke up by 6am to help my mum to pray. It was Winter Solstice Festival. We made TangYuan yesterday and I made 6 special ones, 4 for the alphabets SHEH and 1 for a smiley and 1 for a snowman. J

I went to market before going to school. My sis wanted to buy something. My mum made it late than the time I wanted, actually it was not so late, so I’d given her a bad face. I changed my mood on the way we’re heading to school, I don’t want to take my result with a bad mood.

I saw him at the pondok when our car went into the school. He didn’t look happy, I thought he didn’t get a good result. I didn’t see anyone watching their result slip with smiling face, I thought the result of our year was bad. I was very nervous.

I walked my mum and sis to Dewan Terbuka. Luckily, I saw many people with a bright smile on their face, I felt much better. I thought the list of straight A’s students would be pasted on the board, however, there was no result being announced. We had to take our result like what we did in Konferansi Waris. I couldn’t find Miss Ng thus I asked Fortune.

Our class’s “counter” was empty when I was there. Miss Ng smiled when she saw me. we approached and I read my name out. She got my slip few seconds later. She purposely pulled it out slowly, I held my mum’s finger tightly when I was looking at the slip. My mum urged her and complained that I was going to break her finger. The slip was finally completely pulled out and I saw “AAAAAAAA”. It was STRAIGHT A’S!! I feltt disbelief for few seconds and double checked it. My tears came out uncontrollably once I confirmed that I really got 8A’s. I hugged my mum tightly and she hugged me back tightly too. I cried on her shoulder. MISS NG SAW ALL THESE. I messaged my aunt and Dameinv to tell them this good news and they both congratulated me. Aunt said she would bring me gift when she comes back. HeHe.

Doraemon and her mum came then. I still couldn’t stop my tears. Her mum laughed at me. So what, who cares? It were the tears of happiness, I don’t care to let them out. Dad called mum then and asked about my result. I told him excitedly that I couldn’t finish my sentence well because I’d started crying when I talk about my result. I passed it back to mum and asked her to tell dad. It was Fish’s turn to take her result then. She approached Miss Ng expressionlessly and took her slip expressionlessly and said “thanks” to Miss Ng. Oh my god, so cool. By the way, why was everybody so calm while I was agitated like this? Maybe because my mood was different, I never studied as hard as them. Thus there came the worries.

Nurina came and congratulated Fish and me. Her mother was video recording at the side. She didn’t record my crying part, I’m quite disappointed about that actually. I know it would look ugly but at least I get my precious moment recorded. L

I went to meet Ping after that. I saw her dad, it was the first time I saw her dad. Most of the Chinese went back after taking their result so I couldn’t see many of them there. I saw many of the Indian gangs took photo together with their slips, actually I was quite envy. I wanted to record my important moment too. This was my only regrettable thing I think.

I met Dhar later and she congratulated me too, so did I. I saw him again when we were going out of the school. We both turned and saw each other. We looked at each other for few seconds and I finally swift my sight away expressionlessly. I don’t want to be the one who starts the interactions between us. He’d said that he wants us to be strangers.

We went to Hi-Tech to hand my XueHai papers to Will. He’d given me a notebook of another school, saying that it was his bro’s graduation notebook and it was limited edition, I couldn’t buy outside. I was very confused. Why did he want to give me the book? I don’t need it, I still have many notebooks home. I asked him with phone then and he said it’s the credit for my papers. But I think there was something more.

We went to my dad-side-grandma’s house then and told her and my uncle the good news. They were very happy and proud of me. Uncle called his friends of his unknown group to ask scholarship for me, hope that I can get them. I got nothing when I got straight A’s in my UPSR.

And we went to my mum-side-grandma’s house later and did the same thing. They had the same responses too. Another uncle called and congratulated me. He said I’m the only one who was this clever and he promised that I can ask for anything as long as he can do it. hohoho~ *GRIN* Anyway, I don’t think I would ask anything from him. Bro called and congratulated too. I didn’t ask anything from him, I know he won’t give.

I went Giant with Xiu2, Jo and Jia then. All of us in 3A8 got 8A’s except WHui, YWen and Fang2. Fang2 got A in her Math, wahahaha~~~ It meant our lessons worked!! I was really glad of that. PS: she doesn’t have to stay with Fortune. Haha.

Xiu2 was very happy that she got 8A’s. She paid for us for entertainments and foods. Haha. Thanks ya Xiu2~~~ muack!

Last, I’M VERY HAPPY THAT I GOT STRAIGHT A’S! I DIDN’T LET MY FAMILY, MY FRIENDS, MY TEACHERS AND MYSELF DOWN!!!!!!!! I WISH THAT I CAN WORK HARD IN THE FUTURE AND PASS MY SPM WITH FLYING COLOURS TOO!!!!!

just recording and updating

I said to myself that I want to practice violin everyday but I failed again. I maintained it for just 2 days. It’s all because I tore my cocoon on my fingers like a fool and I hurt myself. I couldn’t play violin for few days and I had no time few days after it then until today. And I was lazy today. Damn. I just can’t get rid of my laziness.

They said it would be meteor shower on the midnight of 14th until 15th. I looked at the clock in my computer at the midnight of 13th so it showed as 14th. I thought I’d missed it and I was very disappointed. I realized that only on the next day, my Sina’s friend told me. I went out from my house and checked the sky out yesterday. It was a starry night and the moon was very bright. The sky was so beautiful. I think I saw Orion too because the three stars of his belt were so bright that I could recognized it. I found the vastness of the universe and human insignificance. So I watched the sky for quite some time although I didn’t see any meteor.

When I was looking at somewhere of the sky, I saw a meteor flashed through the sky in front of me!!! I was so excited and touched!! It was the first time I saw a meteor and it was with only my naked eyes!!! It was so unbelievable that I really saw it!!!!! It flashed, it was just a brief moment that I couldn’t remember to make a wish and I wouldn’t be making a wish before it’s gone, I know. I went out a few more times after that and I saw a meteor almost every 5 to 10 minutes I waited outside. I saw a meteor again when I finally remembered to make wish. But I wasn’t paying attention because I’ve been waiting long. I don’t know whether that wish is counted. I just hope that I could make more wish, I need wishes to give me hopes now. I saw a total of 7 meteors.

We will be taking our PMR result on this 22nd. I just don’t dare to expect anything from my result. I’m coward. I would be more disappointed when I expect more. I don’t want that. So I never think of, even estimate, my result now. Everything could happen, there are possibilities everywhere. I will cry if I expect I would get 8As and I don’t get it. Well, I think I will cry too even if I didn’t expect. And I think I will still cry if I get 8As. But it’s the tears of happiness. I hope Dameinv will be there when I’m getting my result so that I can hug her when I get that I got 8As. And she would console me too if I don’t get it. Ha-ha. Anyway, may god bless me.

I don’t know what should I ask from my parents if I get 8As. I used to tell my parents earlier so that they can PROMISE me. Phone? Mine is still so new although it has no wi-fi and not a new model. Computer? I already have a netbook although it’s a cheap one. Violin? I don’t think they afford to buy me a handmade one. Cash? They won’t give me much, don’t waste this good chance. Violin class? Well, they are in economic constraints. Braces? They are in economic constraints. Trips? They are in economic constraints. So actually no matter it’s phone, computer or violin, they are in economic constraints. I don’t want them to be bothered by me especially on the money problem that can’t be simply solved. Maybe I can tell them that I don’t want anything right now but they owe me a thing. I would only be asking for something when they are okay in their economic.

I finally get a big dream for myself. It can be target, aim or something like that, but I know it would only be dream. My perfect and can never be reached dream is, I want to travel to Hong Kong or China, wherever Charmaine is over there and filming, alone! I want to follow Charmaine to wherever she films and stay with her, chat with her, breakfast with her, lunch with her, dinner with her and etc everyday, just like what the other super friend-like fans of Charmaine did and become one of them! Be friends with them and Charmaine too! I must go alone because I won’t be able to do all that if my family is there too. They are impossible to do all that together with me. And I would be fully owning freedom if I do so.

Oh my god, just imagine that, that’s perfect! I could be visiting the places with my friends too when Charmaine’s not free and etc. I don’t need to stay there long cause’ I know I won’t be able to stay long. Few days are already enough for me. At least I experienced that. Maybe I can ask for it when I pass my SPM with flying colours but the main point is, when they afford to do so. I won’t force them for this. I know it’s hard. When they are afford, they just need to provide me 2 flight tickets, clothes(if it’s winter), money for lodging and food. And maybe some pocket money. If the price of everything has already raise, maybe RM1500 for flight tickets, RM1000 for winter clothes, RM1500 for lodging, RM500 for food, RM500 for pocket money, RM5000 in a total. (I counted everything for the most expensive.) My SPM result deserves it I think. Haha.

much better?

I chatted with Dameinv just now, she said she will be engaging tomorrow and she hopes I will be there. Anyway, she has it in SP, of course I can’t make it. We haven’t gone out yet since she said we will go out anyway before this. What I want now is, we can go out at least once before she becomes PUAN because she won’t be able to go out in anytime once she’s married. And she said she will bring me to her house, I won’t be able to go her house too if she gets married. I wish to go her house before she gets married and sleep there over a night if can. Haha. But I know everything is so difficult as she told me that she might be marrying after few days she engaged. Anyway, she asked me to go her wedding ceremony. J I want to go for sure but can I don’t go alone? I need someone to go with me. L And I thought I can see CheChe there but she has to go Kelantan and she can’t go. Dameinv feels bad about this, of course me too. L

I use about one hour to practice violin everyday.

He never talked to me since holidays started.

Charmaine became the Asian TV Awards Queen yesterday while Kevin became the Asian TV Awards King. I was so happy and excited about this! Their last becoming King and Queen time was in year 2006, five years ago. I was so glad to see them getting prizes together again after five years! Charmaine was perfectly pretty yesterday. I fell into her again. Well, it’s neither the first time I fell into her nor the second but the infinite time. I fell into her every time I see her even it’s just photos. Here they were. Just so love them.

troubles

A great news, I HAVE FINALLY FINISHED MY TWILIGHT! Hahahahahahahaha~~~~ I finished it few days ago and I got the second book, New Moon, today. I was so cool, I used about half of a year to finish a novel. Haha. I’m wondering when will be my day of finishing New Moon. XD

I’ve forgotten if I had already jotted this down: I’d done the first thing in my things-to-do-after-PMR list, go to school without sleeping.

I realized I love Charmaine more and more now. I miss her so much some times. I wished to see her face to face, talk with her, hold her hands and hug her tightly. Maybe I would be lesbian? Haha. Actually I did worry about this before. But I think I’m normal cause’ I like Kevin Cheng too. I will be loving him if he’s not bald now. XD

Charmaine has a lot of news recently. Her updates in her filming period and she went to be her friend, Toby’s bridesmaid. There were so many news and photos I want to follow up, I felt that I was so busy. I wanted to reduce the time of surfing internet now to reduce the electricity fee and I don’t want to spend my whole day on just surfing internet so I would surf at evening or night. There was already much news during that time so I would be very worry that I couldn’t follow all the news and get all the photos. I would still be worrying even after finish following and getting the news and photos. It’s my mental problem I think. Ugh.

I know I should be practicing my PS skills all the time but I’m really lazy. XD But I want to be a PS expert very much because I want to see beautiful Charmaine’s photos come out from me. Actually I’m just lazy to choose photos to be PS-ed and because I was worrying about the above problems too.

I said I want to watch all Charmaine’s dramas in this holiday if I can. But I don’t think I can do it. She has over 40 dramas, I can’t buy because my family is facing money problem, I can’t waste money. I can’t finish them with my super slow internet speed too. I need a long time to load an episode. So conclusion is, I can never do that. Oh gosh, feel so bad about this. L

Charmaine is going to Singapore with Kevin tomorrow for the Asian Award. Kevin and Charmaine will be this year’s Asian TV King and Queen!! Hoho. The main point is, they are going to go together and they will be taking photo together for sure!! Huahahahaha~~~ So eager to see their photos! Alright, I know I’ve already mad. ;P

Ok, back to the real life now. Dameinv is in a relationship. She is coupling. She said they planned to marry soon. Oh my god, it’s just so unacceptable. They just start coupling but they’ve already planned to marry. Well, maybe that’s the culture of Malays but I’m just so worry about it. I’m worrying that she will be cheated by the boy. Anyway, I can’t do anything on it. Perhaps I’m just thinking too much. She’s going to be PUAN soon, feel so berat hati to let her be his. She is his after this.

Part of the reasons Dameinv did tell me a lot of things and made me as her best friend is because she couldn’t keep finding CheChe as she is already married. So, what I’m worrying is, I can’t always find her in the future too because she is already married. L I want to ask for our outgoing day before she get married but she is very busy on her marry things now. L Luckily I haven’t ask yet or she will feel I’m a child and immature, annoying as well.

Maybe I will be liking her less after she get married? Maybe no too because I’m still liking CheChe what XD And she did care of me a lot, unlike CheChe XD

I thought most of the tuition classes will be starting in December so I planned to attend tuition class for all subjects and drop those I think I can handle after school opening. But it’s not so at all, almost all of the class start next year except Modern Math so I changed my mind. I planned to not to attend any tuition class until January and learn all those subjects in school first. February only I attend for those I think it’s hard.

First, it can save money and time, at least for the first month. If I attend all classes means it needs about 400 bucks monthly and I would be very busy. I need to save money now. Second, I can know better that I’m bad in which subject and I can work harder on it. If I attend tuition class from the beginning, I would be counting on it and can’t do well without tuition class.

New Template!

Finally edit my blog template. I was so lazy to even edit the font of the post before this. It's in an almost-the-same template with Fish's blog now. Hoho. We can be a set of three CUTE bloggers if Suz edits hers too! Huahahahaha XD

7th day of holidays

I was awaken by my sis when she woke up for her SPM this morning at 7.30am. I could sleep back but I woke up because I thought maybe I could meet Dameinv on Facebook. We didn’t chat for a few days already.

I met CheChe instead of Dameinv. I dared myself to talk to her with a good excuse for myself. I could say "I woke up early and I was excited now, that’s why I talked to you." I don’t dare to talk to her because she used to ask why and I don’t know how to answer her. We chatted then.

I saw a shocking news from her profile afterward. It was her status, telling that Dameinv’s sister is having lymphoma cancer now and praying that she could recover soon. It was Dameinv's eldest sister, the one who went to study in New Zealand and just came back not long ago. I was very shocked and I had frozen in front of the computer for quite a long time.

I posted a wall post on her wall this morning, before knowing this, asking when will be our outgoing day and I miss her. I deleted it then because she just said sorry for busying on her sister’s things and has no time to invite me to go out. Good, I don’t have to dream about it anymore lately. Maybe she saw the post but if she doesn't means we thought of the same thing at the same time. :)

I messaged her later to console and ask for details. I got something, she said her sister had hidden it for a long time, it’s now second or third phase already. Her sister will be going to Penang tomorrow for the chemotherapy. She said she was very sad, this sister was the one she loved the most and of course she loved me too(she said on her own). I told her I messaged her to console her actually but I don’t know how to console. She said she was worse, her sister keeps crying. She was her sister but she doesn’t know how to console her.

I’m very upset now. She is very sad because of this and I would be very sad too if it is me. And I can’t do anything to help her, not even consoling. To those who read this, please keep it as a secret. I wrote it here not to let you know and spread it. I just need a place to tell out.


Notes.
1. I had finished my great plan, not sleeping before going to school, not long before this.

2. I’m reading Twilight, it’s interesting started from the Confession chapter. XD And, how I wish I have never watched the Twilight movie before. The Edward in the novel was so perfect that the Edward in the movie could never be. I could be imagining how perfect the Edward was but not remembering the imperfect Edward in the movie when I’m reading. The Edward in the movie was not perfect at all, not even having a handsome face. Moreover, HE IS NOT MUSCULAR AT ALL.

3. He didn't contact me for quite a long time already.

4. I’m learning to use Photoshop to edit photo, I mean my Charmaine one, but my netbook can’t display the Chinese words in software. Thus, it’s a hard work for me to investigate it. Here are some examples. I'm quite satisfied with them.

first day of holidays

Maybe I can say my boring holiday had a good beginning. We went to Xiu2’s house to play and have a “morning BBQ” there and celebrated birthday for Jo and Fish’s passed one. Wish my beloved Jo happy birthday again here~ muack! All 3A8s were there except Suz because she has to go for debate. Pity her.

We decorated Xiu2’s house before Jo arrived. We told Jo and Fish to come at 9am but we all came at 8am so that we would have time to decorate but Fish came earlier so she had to decorate too. XD BBQ then, hmm, not so fun because we don’t have the stick for BBQ, it was very hot so I didn’t barbeque much. I barbequed some marshmallows, it was so tasty! Hohoho, I like it! Fang2’s mum made some spaghetti and jelly for us too. Her mum was really kind, my mum would never do that. L

We played water after eating. It was so nice, I love that part! We played crazily, and we were all wet! Huahahahaha :D Tidy up time after playing then. It was suffering, all tidy up time is suffering, I hate it, everyone hates it. Anyway, WHui and me washed all the things at the back. We played poker card for a while after that. I said I don’t want to play poker card anymore because I would lose everytime I play. Anyway, I still played for a few games. I can control myself well now, stop playing once started to lose. XD As a result, I won RM2. XD It’s much for me compare to the negative before this.

Thank you very much to Jia and Fang2, they both lighted the fire and barbequed many things for us. I went back at 1.30 something and slept after coming back. After that, woke up, and then online. Boring routine again.

Oh ya
1. I’m going to go out with Dameinv next week, huahahahah~~ :D

2. Finally bought my Charmaine’s movie, haven’t watch it yet, but I knew it is really nice, that’s why I bought it! Just so love my Charmaine!! Charmaine, I LOVE you!! LOVE!! And, so regret and sad that I don’t know how to PS. L

last school day

Every form had to come to school like morning session today for “Hari Tutup Sekolah”. We cleaned up the school compound all the time before recess, anyway, I didn’t clean anything but played with friends. :D

I messaged with Dameinv in the school, haha. I went to find her in staff room after recess and stayed there until school finished and did nothing except helping Dameinv to do some works and teaching Fang2 Mathematics. Fang2, Jo and Fish were there too. We were all too boring but don’t want to go to the Multimedia Room, we would be doing nothing there too but we still prefer to stay with Dameinv. Hmm, maybe I should say ME but not WE. XD

Dameinv gave me the gift that she wanted to give me before this. It was 3 Ferrero Rocher Chocolate, a maybe-made-in-New Zealand Chocolate and a New Zealand animal key chain. I don’t know what animal was that, but it looked cheap, really. No offence, but it really looked cheap. It looked coarse, not meticulous at all. Her sister who went to study in New Zealand had come back lately, that was why these things were here. She said she had many key chains in her house and that one she brought was mine. Hoho.

I stayed at her place until 1.30pm, stayed about 3 hours there. hoho. Anyway, I did nothing there. She was busy, I didn’t talk much with her. CheChe was absent today. I continued my boring routine after coming back from school, started my boring holiday. L

choir performance and the day after it

I woke up at 5am yesterday. I thought I will be using more time than the day before it for preparation. However, I was wrong. I had many times left before I went out.

The way to school was all dark, almost no cars on the road. It felt so nice. Hoho. The school was dark too when I arrived, it was about 6am. I waited for them alone in my class, didn’t feel any fear, I had used to it. I waited like this every morning.

Bus departed at about 6.20am. I couldn’t sleep with songs because I would be listening to the songs very carefully. But I couldn’t sleep on the bus no matter with songs or not. Anyway, I managed to sleep for teen minutes with songs playing. It couldn’t consider as sleep I think, it was only “sometimes conscious and sometimes unconscious”. Chatted with Fish, Suz, Win, Ning and YWen as well.

I don’t know when did we arrived there because I forgot to wear my watch and I had put my phone in my bag and I was lazy to take it out. Most of us wanted to go to toilet but our conductor doesn’t allow us to do so. She said we were not having much time plus we haven’t warm up yet.

So, we warmed up at the stage without going to toilet and with hungry stomach. I never thought that we would have time to eat but at least we could have some time to go toilet right, but we don’t have. We warmed up for a while more at downstage and went up to the stage immediately after that. I was shocked.

We stood there for almost 1 hour before singing, waiting for the VIPs. Damn. My legs were numb. I almost forgot how to walk when I had my first step after singing. I had a little bit sore throat before started to sing after waiting for so long without talking. I was not nervous at all, from the beginning.

We went to KFC after that. The workers were shock when they saw a group of blue girls went into their shop. Haha. I ordered a cup of coffee. It was just so tasteless and bitter. I added 6 packs of sugar and creamer. There was a table of Form 5 students beside us. We acted like we were just finish taking the exam too and we were Form 5s too. We chatted about the previous and coming papers, awards if we get straight As, what car could we get after exam and etc. I just feel that I could be a good actress too. Grin. :D

We arrived school at 12 something. We did nothing before school finished. I was so boring, super duper boring. I knew Dameinv wouldn’t be in school, I just felt like I had no point to go school anymore, I could start my holiday now. Anyway, I better still going because I had not many days to go now. It left only 2days. I must appreciate my left Form 3 life.

As a result, I was absent today as many of my classmates were not going and Dameinv was the main reason actually. Unfortunately, Dameinv told me that she was in school today! Damn! Why was she in school! Isn’t she said that she has to invigilate SPM so she will not be in school! Ugh! Absent for school is really a bad thing!

Fortunately, she said she will be in school in Thursday. Hoho. I must appreciate this coming Thursday then. J Oh ya, we will be taking our RM100 tomorrow, huahahaha. But Dameinv will not be not there. L

not a good day

I went for choir rehearsal in Alor Star today. I was very worry about if I had missed anything to bring the days before it. No butterfly in my stomach, because neither CheChe nor Dameinv would be there. I wouldn’t be nervous if there is no one that I care of.

I reached school at about 6.40am. I planned to arrive earlier than this and walk to Dameinv’s place and put the map of my house on her desk. Unfortunately, I reached school late so I failed to do that. I rushed to music room then.

We started to worm up after not long. I didn’t do it as well as the best I did before. I couldn’t sing well lately, just like I couldn’t reach the pitch and I couldn’t be powerful. Anyway, it was still okay. I went to put the map on Dameinv’s desk after warming up, when everybody was about to go bus. I met her on the way so I gave it to her. I saw CheChe too, but I didn’t say hi.

We went to the bus stop beside surau and Dewan Asrama to wait to go up the bus. I saw Dameinv was busy preparing her class’s ice-cream stall. She asked me if I would be there with hope-filled before that, but unfortunately, I would not be there. L

She came and told me that she couldn’t understand the map. I explained to her. I planned to tell her that if I could come back before they go back, we could eat ice-cream together but I didn’t tell her at last. I looked at her back all the way on bus when we were going out of the school.

It took about 1hour 40minutes to reach the stadium. We arrived at 9.35am. We waited in the very hot, sauna-like stadium. They didn’t switch on the air-conditioner. Damn. We ate the food given by them before our turn to rehearsal. It was curry chicken rice. Hello, we had to sing! Ok, I know they would never be that caring.

We waited idly until 12pm something. We dressed rehearsal for almost 2 hours and went back after that, waited for 3hours and dressed rehearsal for only 2 hours. And the 2 hours were not all used to dress rehearsal but waited for them to settle the things.

I slept for a while and chatted with Fish on the bus on the way back. I sat with Fish on the bus. We chatted a lot on the bus. We arrived the school after about 1hour 40minutes too. The school was so empty, almost considered as NOBODY, only a few boys were playing football in the field and few students waiting for their parents in the pondok.

We went to wandered around the school compound. First because I wanted to see whether Dameinv is still there although I knew it was 101% that she wouldn’t be there, second because we wanted to let Fish and her guy had chance to stay together, the school was empty so they no need to worry about others would see it.

I saw CheChe was still in Bilik Mesyuarat when we were sending Suz to Kamar Syura for her pitiful debate discussion. I asked Fish and her guy to wander around on their own and I went to find CheChe. Hoho. I chatted with her in the room. She said her finger was so pain because of playing Bola Jaring, it was her first time to play it. It seemed like not every Malay girl likes Bola Jaring. J

An unlucky thing was, she had already finished her works when I was there. I couldn’t be with her long. She said she had to pick up her daughter after that and asked if I want to tumpang her car. I rejected her. Why! Why did I reject her!!!!!!!!! I missed an once-in-a-lifetime chance again!!! I would never have such a chance to sit her car anymore!!! Uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa L Both of the most regretful things that I had done were all because of CheChe! First time was I met her in Tesco but I didn’t hi with her, second time was this! Ughhhhhh!!! T^T

I slept after coming back from school and went online after bathing and enjoying dinner after woke up. I uploaded my self-taken photo on the way back from the car just now. And do you know what happened after that? CheChe liked my photo!!!! Oh my goodness, just so flattered! This was the first time she liked my photo! (the photos which I took with Dameinv were exception) I tagged her and said something like “why do you want to like my photo, shyshy”(XD) but unfortunately, she didn’t reply.

Another shocking thing happened again after that. I saw the notification of Dameinv liking my photo! Oh gosh….It was the first time she liked my photo too. So shy…XD Her comment was more flattering. “miss you my tedy”, was her comment. Wahahahahahaahaha~~ She said so in public….so shy….and, so happy! XDXDXDXD hohohohoho~~~ The only bad thing was, she didn’t on after I asked her. huhu L

Tomorrow will be the formal performance, hope that I can sing well! Oh god, let me to sing well please, I want to sing better! All the best to you, Lim Wan Pei! Good luck and do your best! Same to all the choir members especially my Fish, Suz, Ween, Ning and YWen! Semangat!!!! XD

Oh ya, he said it was only a joke. Damn, how could he wish me to die even though it was only joking!!! I told him I was really affected by it much and asked him to settle it on his own. I don't want to talk to him and be eyes to eyes with him before he settles it! Hump! (wish that I can really do that)

Hari Raya Haji

Maybe I should ask him, no way, I don’t dare. Just wait until the school reopens and see his behavior okay. But, what should I feel toward this before I get to know his thinking? Alright, just ignore it first. Still, my heart will be held tight suddenly when I saw his Facebook icon. Still, I will feel hurt when I think back of the conversation. I hate.

Watching my Charmaine’s drama, Forensic Heroes II, again. I just so love my Charmaine, and her lover in the drama, Ivan(Kevin Cheng). I love to see them being together. Just so love. I think I’m already crazy in this. I’m going to watch it again with laptop later. Then print screen the scene I want and save it and see it whenever I want. Wahaha.

Dameinv was so gatai today. She said “miss u babe” to me. Haha. I gave her back a kiss emotion too. haha. Just take it as the reparation of her kiss emotion that day. XD

Went to Tesco and had a KFC lunch with my family this afternoon. I walked together with my brother and we were holding hands and walking very near to each other, just like what a couple would do. Damn, all the others must have thought that we were couple! Anyway, I have already used to it. Everyone was looking at us, because of my brother’s look. I used to ignore all their eyes. And, I’m his girlfriend on the other hand. Damn.

Oh ya, I dared myself to ask CheChe about the reason she was absent for school few days ago. She went for a bengkel at Langkawi. And my reason for asking her about this was, “nothing, just curious.” XD

Oh ya II, belated Hari Raya Haji to my friends. Shit, i forgot to wish Dameinv and CheChe and all them. I have totally forgotten about this thing.

All Just In A Sudden

You hoped me to die.

You said you wish me to die, as soon as possible.

You said we will be strangers until the day I die, started from now.

Okay, we are stanger, until the day I die, I will remember it, until the day I die too.

Goodbye, stranger.

First time, my eyes were full by tears because of you, and it is the last time too.

Please, promise me.

Last time.

Still, I hope you were kidding, again.

You were kidding right?

Were you?

I thought you don’t mean much to me, you don’t affect me much.

You don’t, right?

You just made my tears formed, just some tears.

Just in this condition.

You don’t affect me much.

Do you?

Maybe you did, just that I never realise.

Maybe you did, after this.

Can I know are you serious?

Can I know what’s happening now?

Should I ask you, “You are kidding right.”?

You will come back and tell me you were just kidding.

You will. Will you?

2nd November 2011

Today was much better, there was a normal number of students attended today. CheChe was absent again, don’t know why and I didn’t ask Dameinv or her when she was online.

We registered to go for a forum about health today. It was at Dewan Putra. No other reason, just because we were too boring to stay at school. It was not bad to go outside. We went there at 8.30am. Suz, Fish and me went to help Miss Gooi to clean her room before that. We often went to find her lately and offered her our help because we were really too boring. As a result, I was now much closer with her.

I get a bag of things from there. There were a few poster, a pack of Mihun, an apple, a bun, a bottle of mineral water, a notebook and a pen. Not bad, went to play and got free things. I did nothing there, didn’t listen what they said at all. I was sleeping, day-dreaming and chatting all the way.

We went to eat after back from there, it was neither recess time nor back time, but the teachers just allowed us to go out. After that, I pranked Ping. I was not going to prank her actually. I wore her watch when she took it off at canteen, just for fun actually. She thought she lost it then so I planned to continue it. She looked at my hand for a few times, but she never realized it. I thought she has already realized it, I never thought that she was just that BLIND.

We went back to Astaka then. She searched for it at her bag. I went to show her again. I purposely raised my hand in front of her and doing nothing, assuming that she would realise it. Again, she didn’t see it. She went back to her class to search for it after that. I called her and said that Dameinv asked us to go to the another way, raising my hand with the watch and turning it. It was obvious that I was doing things in a weird way and talking nonsense, she didn’t realise.

She back from her class then, with a disappointed face. Of course, her watch was with me what. She searched at her bag again. I went near her and squat down and showed out my hand and asked if she got it. She turned and looked at my hand’s side. I thought she has finally seen it, but she stared it for some seconds and raised her head and told me, nope. Oh my goodness, could she use her eyes since she was opening it!?

And she finally saw it, when I showed her my hand again. We all then laughed at her. She seemed like a bit angry, sad and maybe shocked. I don’t know, but I know she was unhappy because of this. Hey Ping, I know mia, I just don’t want to stop suddenly because the ambience would be very weird if I stop laughing suddenly and stare at you. Hmm, here are some cool satirize words that I told her, “which button to click to make your watch invisible?”, “what’s the use of you opening your eyes?”, “can you see me?”. It was just so funny but I know you were angry, Ping, sorry. You will forgive me right? Heeee.

I then went to be with Dameinv. She wanted to give me chocolate to thank me for helping her and said that we could eat it together. Eat ice-cream as well. But she didn’t bring chocolate or ice-cream as I told her that I have things to do and she thought we would not be meeting. It was okay because I don’t expect we would be having time for that too. We promised that we are going to meet at 12pm to eat chocolate and ice-cream tomorrow.

It was choir practice then. I was in good mood, no reason, and I did well. I would be very very good mood if I can really eat chocolate and ice-cream with Dameinv tomorrow as I knew that we are having choir practice from 11am to 1pm tomorrow afterwards.

I met Dameinv after choir practice and I told her. She was disappointed too, I expected that. We chatted a while before she went to her class. She would always smile or laugh sheepishly in front of me. I was appeased by our interactions today but actually it was only the normal interactions. I don’t feel want to message her or Facebook with her. I don’t want her to be annoyed by me, although I know she won’t feel so actually but I would still worry about that.

Unexpectedly, she was online today and hi with me. We chatted for a while only because her line wasn’t well and she couldn’t access Facebook. She messaged me then. We chatted for a while again, she wanted to bring chocolate tomorrow. Hope that we will be able to eat it together tomorrow. She called me meimei and called herself cheche. Well, I can be her meimei, it’s okay. J She said goodbye to me and said that she was already sleepy. That’s her must-do. XD But today was abit different, she added a kissing emotion after her words. Haha. I realized it afterward, if not, I’m going to give her back too. J

01.11.2011

Today was Fish’s birthday, so happy birthday to my beloved Fish~ love you forever and friendship forever! ❤ There were only six chinese students presented today, me, Fish, Suz, Ping, Fang2 and WHui. All the others were absent, ALL. I don’t know why, maybe they colluded with each other and planned to absent together. Why I don’t know all of this? But it’s okay, I won’t really absent even though I knew. J

Today was almost the same with yesterday. The five periods before recess were all free, we can do whatever we want including sports. We ran around the field like yesterday and the result was the same too, we just ran about ¾ of the field. I could finish it if my stupid stomach didn’t feel pain I think. Done nothing after that and I slept for almost an hour in class. I couldn’t sleep long if I lean my body over the desk, my elbow would be very pain. So, I arranged the chairs in a row like what I did last time and slept for teen minutes. I felt very tired recently.

The time was wasted by wandering, chatting, playing computer, reading novels and sleeping. Soooooooooooooo boring. Damn. Miss Gooi’s place has been settled by the boys, by using the idea given by Fish. We then went to the Bilik Akses to play the computers there. I thought the room is already neglected and nobody will be going there. I was very surprised when I pushed open the door and saw two boys there. No internet access in the room, so what are the use of the computers presented there?! Even with internet, no Facebook, MySpace, and etc things are allowed. So what is the use of the internet available there?!

CheChe was absent today. A bit affected when waiting for her to come at assembly time but then back to normal after that. Dameinv came late today, she said she has things to do, she should be coming earlier, so that I can stay with her longer. XD I went to her place and helped her to jot down and sum up the score and stayed for almost an hour there. I finished the things she asked me to do in just a short time, she was surprised. It’s nothing actually, just because it was related to Math and her. She make-up today and she was shy when I asked her this.

She wanted to eat lunch with me after finishing the jobs. But unfortunately, it was already the time for me to back. She looked sad, me too but I didn’t show her.

choir practice again~~

Finally there was choir practice again today. We had our first practice after stop practicing for over three months at the assembly time. There was practice again because we were asked to perform at Alor Star at 15^th of November. It is a state function. Teacher Edna said it is actually the same function with the last “Anti-Jenayah” function, maybe they are too rich and wanted to make it again. The only different thing is, the coming one will be held in a stadium, but not a opened-hall of a school.

I asked Giant to join but she rejected with the excuse, lazy. She then went to ask Sunio, she was okay at first, but she rejected too at this morning with the excuse, I thought Giant is going. Well, speechless. Anyway, two new members, actually they were not really new, Ning and Ween. They were asked by Teacher Edna, so they couldn’t reject her. hoho.

I planned to go to music room at the time CheChe comes and I can meet her and say hi. But Fish had spoiled my plan, she was late today. I waited her and missed CheChe’s coming time. L But it was okay, I don’t feel much annoyed or sad or something else. CheChe seems like couldn’t affect me much already. J

We practiced until 8.45am. I didn’t feel hungry at all, just feel a bit dizzy. It was normal, I used to get dizzy when I’m singing choir. Maybe because I drank milk this morning, it was more satiety. I started with my coco book after back from choir practice. We were asked to settle in before holiday and pass it up after holiday actually. But after holiday only we started to do it. XD

Finishing coco book was really a suffering work. I didn’t do it since form 1. I have to finish up the previous years one now. Shit. And because of this, I didn’t go to eat during recess time. it was because I didn’t feel hungry too.

I felt very tired and sleepy after the coco book was semi-finished. I wanted to show Dameinv my pitiful look so that she will say some caring words or scold me of not taking care of myself well. XD Anyway, I failed to do so because I was about to go to canteen to eat when I meet her, I couldn’t follow her to her place.

I ordered a Nasi Patayap and then walked back to my place to sleep for a while and asked Fish to wait for me. The rice today was really big. I couldn’t finish it at all although I was already hungry. It was still tasty, but I had no appetite to enjoy it. I was not feeling well.

Actually I’m expecting I will be back to the powerful me after eating, but it doesn’t happen. I was still very tired after that. I kept sleeping when teacher was not paying attention at our part. I felt uncomfortable when I was singing too.

I managed to support myself until the practice finish. I went to find Dameinv but unfortunately, she was about to her class so I just stayed there for a while and then went to the pondok outside to read my novel. There was no disgusting boy there today, only Suz, Longban, Pretty Girl and Big In. I will turn about for sure if I get to know that there are disgusting boys at the pondok. I hate when there are boys. They like to make disgusting sounds towards me such as kissing sound and calling me with the stupid “A Moi~”. Just so damn.

Dameinv said that let’s meet at Facebook tonight when I went to find her just now. But she didn’t online at all. T^T

Sentimental

So down now, after reading Fish’s blog. Fish, I don’t know what to say now, I’m bad in consoling. What I want you to know is, I’M ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU. And you too, Suz. I know I’m not a caring friend, I’m not a careful one on relationships. I couldn’t be the first one to realise you alls’ wrong, I’m obtuse in relationship field, but I’ll try to be more caring now. Please forgive my unconcern, I’m trying to improve this. I don’t want my friends to be sad and down, I want them to be always happy. I know I’m not be able to make you all happy, but I wish I can and I will make my every effort to make you all happy if I really can.

And the stupid line is so lag now, maybe because it’s raining now, maybe because my sister is watching drama with her netbook now. I hate it. I can’t chat well with Dameinv, she said I kept appearing offline. I can’t even load my homepage completely now. And now, Dameinv said she can’t online because of the stupid line. Shit. I must find something to cheer up myself, I hate to be in bad mood.

So DOWN and SENTIMENTAL now. I’m so sentimental recently and I HATE it.

Oh ya, something to be jot down.

Dameinv told me that she was about to bath and asked me to wait. I urged her to bath faster to prevent her from getting sick. And she said, “I noe u care bout me. sbb tu sy syg awk…”. So warm. J She really had made me as her good, close and best friend. And I started too. J

Mood

First.

My back is getting more and more pain now. I don’t know what should I do. It has started to feel pain since about one month ago. I just ignored it, thinking that it will recover on its own one day. But after about one month, the feel of pain increase instead of decreasing. I can’t bear it anymore and went to meet a doctor.

The doctor gave me some pills, expecting the pain will disappear after finishing the pills. It was okay when I was taking the pills. However, it doesn’t happen like what it should be happening. The feel of pain has worsen after I finished the pills. I feel pain when I was walking, sitting, squatting or whatever action I do. I felt tired of bearing the pain so I went to meet the doctor again just now.

The doctor doesn’t know what to do on me too but she gave me some pills to reduce the pain. She suggested me to have a X-ray scanning and a more professional scanning after that. But, do you know how much it costs for a professional scanning? The doctor said it costs about thousand. Gosh, even my mum didn’t go for a scan, she needs it actually, how can I go for it? And, the main thing is the fee. Mum said we have not much left in the bank now, I don’t want her to spend such thing on me. Even if we have the fee for that, my mum should go for it first.

The doctor said if it is the bone’s problem, it can recover on its own in three to four months. If it recovers on its own means I will be getting less and less pain but I’m facing the opposite now so it means my problem is not the bone problem. What is the problem then? Ugh. I don’t know what should I do now. Perhaps it can be okay after taking the pills, I don’t want to spend more on it and I can’t spend more on it. God, please, help me. Just help me to make it recover, please.

Second.

My E string breaks again yesterday. It’s the eighth time I think. It breaks eight times within one and a half year. I don’t know why is it happening. The others won’t face such problem, except me. Maybe it’s an omen? Implying that I shouldn’t continue to learn violin. I can’t play it well even though I’ve already learnt it for a long time. Maybe I don’t have that talent? Maybe I shouldn’t keep becoming a stubborn and continue to learn violin? The string breaks again and again to imply me to stop playing it? But I have to admit, I do love violin and music.

I cried.

Third.

It was raining heavily yesterday, with very loud thunders. My modem was hit by the loudest thunder and it died. T^T I couldn’t online yesterday and I couldn’t chat with Dameinv on Facebook!

Anyway, we sms. J I told her that I couldn’t log on my Facebook due to the death of my modem. I told her that I cried because of my E string breaks too. So she consoled me with a very touching way: “I noe you tough enough to hndle that probs..kn sy ad utk awk”. Oh my god, she said she’s there for me! So touching. So I cried again. Well, it’s now fair. I made her cried once and she made me cried once too. J hmm, it seems like we are really good friends now. a very satisfying conclusion. J

Fourth.

He said he doesn’t know me well and felt that we were just like strangers. He said he wanted to chase me again. So we are strangers now. He didn’t explain well at first, I thought what was going to happen. Luckily, it was his plan actually. Well, I’m glad that he thought this way, I’m very willing to wait for his chasing. J Hmm, does it mean that I can reject him and find a new one? Ha-ha.

finally went back to primary school!

I went back to primary school finally. We were the only batch who didn’t go back at all in these three years, feel so guilty about this. Actually I don’t want to go back because I never get straight A’s in my exams from form 1 to now. I was worrying that teacher will ask how is my result and feel disappointed because of my result.

I was with Suz this whole day. We went to find many teachers. Most of them can just call out her name but not mine. L They needed some time to figure out my name. uwaaaaa. Only Miss Teh, Puan Lim, Puan Lai and Puan Yong(feel so weird to call them this way. XD) can call out my name immediately. Anyway, at least they managed to call my name at last. Since I did so well, hmm, considered as well, in primary school, they should have remembered me. L And I realized, my brother and sister were really popular. The teachers still remembered them very well, even better than me. T^T

We went to wander around the school. All the desks and chairs were just so small! The students as well! They were so cute! XD The school had become much hi-technology than before, no chalk and blackboard, but marker-like pen and blackboard-like board. And many facilities in it had been added and improved too such as badminton court, park and basketball court.

I watched my cousin’s performance, singing, too. He was just so cute and funny! I was laughing all the way I was recording. XD He was really good, he got the first prize in the singing contest. Congratulation to my beloved cute cousin! Muack!

I gave the phone hanger to him. Luckily he liked it very much. J By the way, Doraemon’s brother kept spoiling my plan. He kept coming to talk to me when I asked him to come and get the hanger. I realized he liked to talk to me, maybe he liked me? Hahahahaha. I gave him a sweet too. I asked him what to bring for today when we were chatting in Facebook yesterday. He suggested sweets but I rejected him and said I was not close with any of the children, why must I give them sweets? He then said it was for him but I rejected him too. Anyway, I still brought a sweet for him today. Maybe he was touched? J

Hmm, chatted with Dameinv again. We chatted every day now. Our relationship had improved very much. I’m her Teddy now and she’s my Pooh. J She said she wanted to buy ice-creams and bring them to school to eat with me. And, she said she is suffering from heartburn. She is suffering in heartburn! So pity her but I can’t do anything. L I made her cried yesterday. I consoled about her ex-boyfriend finally. Just hope that she has really been okay now. Anyway, very enjoy in our interactions now. J

And, 100th post. XD

first outgoing after PMR

I’ve finally bought a phone hanger today, for him and me. It was his last year birthday present. He has given me a bracelet made from many little seashells. He bought it when he went to somewhere I think.

I said I wanted to give him a birthday present too last year. I planned to buy us a phone hanger from Massive but it kept out of stock. I couldn’t find us a suitable phone hanger as i was worrying that the phone hanger might be feminine for him and he doesn’t want to use it.

Until today, I finally get one that I think it suits us. Wish that he will really accept it.

He said he wanted to give me a present for my birthday this year too but I rejected him because I don’t know what to give him if he really did give me. I don’t want to be the one who keeps accepting another’s goods but never give.

I went Giant with Ping, Jo, Bei, Min, Ween, Ning, Yewen, Naomi and Xyn today and had a great day with them. They planned to watch Real Steel but they changed their minds at the last minute. It was ok, I’m not so eager to watch it, I just think that it is not so interested although everyone who watched it has highly recommended about it.

We did nothing meaningful actually, just wandering, playing games and we spent a lot of time in selecting and preparing the gift for Xyn too. They wanted to celebrate Xyn’s birthday earlier and actually I don’t know about this at all. It was ok, I was willing to make more friends.

I searched for a suitable frame for Miss Tan too when I was searching for the phone hanger. Unfortunately, there had no suits one. Anyway, Jo helped me to get one afterward. I didn’t see it yet, but I think it will be nice-looking.

The Retiring Ceremony of Dear Beloved and Respected Miss Tan! ♥

Today was Miss Tan’s retiring ceremony. Six of us, Suz, Jo, Ween, Hui, Wen and me, wore the different clothes to welcome Miss Tan. Suz, Jo and me wore the same clothes. The clothes were red in colour, fully red, with Eastern lace outside the clothes. The sleeves of the clothes were only lace, so they were translucent. On the other hand, Ween, hui and Wen wore the same clothes. Their clothes were red in colour too, but with some yellow inside. Both clothes were Chinese clothes.

We did this due to the request of Miss Tan. She herself asked Chinese students to welcome her. So proud of this J I volunteered willingly because it was related to Miss Tan. J Everyone looked at us when we went out from the room after changing the clothes. My friends teased me too. Ugh.I saw him, he said he wanted to show me his effort. I asked him to not to be humpbacked and pulling his steps when he was walking. Hmm, he was still humpbacked and pulling his steps when he was walking, but much better than before.

CheChe saw me when I was waiting for Miss Tan’s arrival. She smiled with me with a very weird smile, seemed like ridiculing me. Anyway, that’s a kind smile. I looked back and smiled sheepishly when I saw her smile. Ice Beauty passed by then. She smiled and said: “Wow! So sweet!” hmm, I think that’s her only comment or praising to others. Haha. But I know she said that sincerely.

Miss Tan came after about half an hour. We never blamed her but if that was not Miss Tan, that guy may be blamed by us severely. Haha. She got a flower badge from a prefect and a bouquet of flower from our civic teacher, the one who was very friend with Xiu2. Haha. CheChe was there in the whole process, maybe she was the in-charge teacher, but I think it was because she wanted to take photos too.

We walked to Dewan Samsudin with two rows of Form 3 students standing beside us, forming a human wall from canteen to Dewan Samsudin. The students called Miss Tan and said hi and bye and so on to her just like what the fans do to their idols. Haha. They called us too. I don’t dare to look at the students’ face at all, I was looking here and there but not their faces all the way.

Still, I looked up when they called my name. I just gave them a very shy smile. Syaheer and Saffa kept “acececece-ing” me when I was near to them. I kept asking them to stop. Ice Beauty was there too, she smiled. J Well, actually I quite enjoy it because I was walking beside Miss Tan in such occasion. It was the chance which the others will never had.

I was very close to Miss Tan when we were near to the hall. I accidentally hit her shoulder but just very light. Haha. Hmm, I’m so regret now of forgetting to ask to hold her hand. She will say okay I think. L

We went to find a seat after Miss Tan and the teachers entered the hall. I saw Dameinv and the floor beside her was empty so I decided to sit over there. I asked my friends to sit there. But after that only I knew, Dameinv asked my friend to ask me to sit there too. Hoho.

Fortune told Suz that we were sexy. Well, speechless. Okay, actually it was quite because the sleeves there were translucent. I laughed at her. However, Dameinv told me that I was sexy too when I met her sight later. Speechless again. We met our sight for a few times, I smiled brightly to her while she just smiled sheepishly. We talked silently with only moving our lips too. J She kept doing nothing and day-dreaming in the ceremony. I don’t what happened to her. I wanted to ask her but I had no chance.

Suz helped me to ask her to take photo with me after the ceremony finished. She rejected, maybe because I was wearing the too sexy clothes, well, it was really sexy for them. Hmm, I have to admit, I was hurt. L I thought that she had already fed up with me or I annoyed her. However, she called me with the bright way she used to be when I met her afterward. Okay, maybe she was not in mood just now. She seemed like always thinks of her ex boyfriend and feeling sad about it. I want to console her but I don’t know whether she was really not in mood because of that and, I shouldn’t do so actually right? L

We gave the flower to Miss Tan after the ceremony. All of us lined up to waiting for her arrival to hug her and talk to her. Hehe, that was Miss Tan! Our principal had no such thing when she left. Hahahaha. Oh ya, we sang birthday song to Miss Tan too when Mr. Khor said it was her birthday during the assembly this morning. Actually Miss Tan’s birthday is during Deepavali but not today. We hugged her after giving her the flower and said some touching thing. I didn’t feel want to cry at all. And at last, I managed to make her to admit that, SHE ACTUALLY KNOWS MANDARIN. Wahahahaha. So proud of this.

And I got her address too. I’m going to post her a photo frame with the photo that she took with us today. And wish her happy birthday too. We bid farewell to her when she was in the car and leaving. I felt want to cry now, in a sudden. My eyes were full of tears suddenly. I forced my tears back, not letting them to fall down. Well, it was not what I had expected. I expected I will cry non-stop in front of her. Anyway, at least my tears formed. It was the first time my tears formed because of a teacher after primary school. Even in my primary graduation ceremony, I didn’t cry.

Miss Tan, my dear beloved and respected Miss Tan, I will always miss you and love you! You will always in my mind! I love you! You are the first teacher who I love this much in my life! ♥♥♥